Book Review: Slow Love

Thursday, 19 August 2010 11:54

Some women willingly date married men. Others are duped by terms like “legally separated.” Before they discover the fallacy, it’s too late—they’re madly in love and there’s no turning back.

By Cindy Taveras; Portrait by Brigitte Lacombe

Like a scene stolen from a movie, Dominique Browning fell in love with her “perfect” man at first sight, across a crowded room. But there was only one problem: “Stroller,” as she calls him because he was always walking away, was married. Though he claimed to be “legally separated” (and had tons of court paperwork to back him up), he was indecisive. He spent many romantic evenings with Dominique but always returned to his apartment. Which he shared with his wife.

But a few unfaithful, fickle boyfriends, several years and one divorce later, Dominique was used to disappointment. Besides, as the editor of House & Garden for nearly 13 years, she was usually too busy to mope. Until she was fired (H&G folded). Suddenly, the busy-editor-turned-housewife-but-without-the-kids-or-husband had a lot of free time. So naturally, she did what most women nearing rock bottom might: She fantasized that her long lost love would rescue her (or as she calls it, “ambivalent love”—on Stroller’s part, not hers).

In her book, Slow Love: How I Lost My Job, Put on My Pajamas & Found Happiness (out since May), she shares how she came to terms with the new, slow pace of her life amidst unemployment, heartbreak and depression. We won’t ruin it, but we will say, comfort food, good friends and blind dates—which equate to free food—play a part. “A good meal will always get me out of bed,” Dominique admits. “It never occurs to me that it might be supposed to get me into bed.” Then later, mindful eating and not to sound cliché, but a life-changing experience—the kind that devastates every aspect of your life before delivering an awe-worthy moment—also contribute to her renewed sense of self.

Dominique Browning, author of Slow Love: How I Lost My Job, Put on My Pajamas & Found Happiness

As the title suggests, this book is slow (and all about love); though it picks up from time to time when she delves into and picks apart her tumultuous love affair, and it is those moments of uninhibited honesty that we appreciate the most. But we also pity her for playing the fool in a very lopsided love affair, and the encyclopedia seared into her mind of things Stroller has said to her also saddens us. (Then again, who are we to judge? We’ve all played the fool before.)

While this elegantly written book is better suited for 30-something-year-olds and up, anyone—or rather, any woman—who has ever dealt with heartache, been the “other woman” or considered having an affair can appreciate this honest, sad and sometimes humorous read.

Be warned: If you are pursuing a career in journalism, this book can be a bit discouraging at times. You’ll find yourself wondering, “If a bigwig editor can’t land a job, how will I?” But despair not. Persistence pays off.

P.S. Inspired by her book, Dominique has launched a blog called Slow Love Life. It isn’t about her love life, she says, but rather, appreciating life in a “gentler, more loving pace.” It has a bit of a Martha Stewart feel to it (pre-prison, that is).