The Happiness Project

Monday, 28 December 2009 14:52

“What do I want from life anyways? ...Well...I want to be happy.” Gretchen Rubin is a mother, college graduate, author, wife and blog fanatic who created a “Happiness Project” while living in the Upper East Side of New York City. But, the woman who seemed to have everything was missing one key component: unconditional happiness. Rubin looks at the works from Aristotle and Plato to Tolstoy, Oprah, the Dalai Lama and Benjamin Franklin in search of happiness.

By Alisha Kinman 

For one year, Gretchen created a blog about where and how to find happiness. Each chapter in her book, which is followed through on her blog, is a theme that relates to finding happiness. The themes include: “Vitality,” “Marriage,” “Work,” “Parenthood,” “Leisure,” “Friendship,” “Money,” “Eternity,” “Books,” “Mindfulness,” “Attitude” and “Happiness.” In each chapter, Gretchen assigns herself numerous mini-tasks to find happiness that are related to each chapter.

For example, the third chapter entitled “March: Aim Higher” has five bullet marks on its first page that read: “Launch a blog,” “Enjoy the fun of failure,” “Ask for help,” “Work smart,” and “Enjoy now.” All of these points are discussed throughout the chapter of different methods that improved Gretchen’s happiness.

Unlike other self help books, Gretchen states numerous times that she does not intend to prove to readers that her methods of achieving happiness is the only route. Rubin explains that finding absolute happiness is a personal excursion that is discovered most often in the things people take for granted.

One of the things I value most from Gretchen's insightful novel is how she presents solid points at how to make a bad situation look brighter. Instead of letting her anger get the best of her, Gretchen will look at a struggle and say "how could I have handled that better?" Gretchen examines all aspects of her life and teaches herself how to be grateful for everyday no matter the dilemmas she may face. We spoke with Rubin before her book's Dec. 29 launch.

When reflecting back on all of the tasks you created for yourself, which one was most valuable to you?
To test the proposition that novelty and challenge bring happiness (which I doubted would be true for me), I set myself the task of starting a blog. And my blog has turned into a gigantic engine of happiness for me. I was amazed that my test turned out the way it did – but now I’m a believer!

You mention a ton of quotes throughout the book, but which one is your favorite and describes the book in its entirety?
Oh, that’s a tough one. I love so many quotations. I think I’d have to go a quotation from Robert Louis Stevenson, “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”

Other motivational and self help books give creative tips similar to yours. What do you think makes your book unique from others?
My book is based on my own experience. As I was doing my happiness project, I found that I learned more from other people’s idiosyncratic experiences than I did from books that provided more universal wisdom or up-to-date studies. Somehow, it’s easier to understand how to apply these ideas in your own life when you read about what someone else does – even when that person is very different from you.

So although I talk about many of the same ideas about happiness that have been kicking around for two thousand years, I hope that my approach helps people realize how to put that wisdom to work in their own ordinary lives.

You mention in the very beginning of your book "the opposite of happiness is unhappiness, not depression." When do you know that friend or family member might just be unhappy (I'm not asking for a medical diagnosis, I just wanted to hear it in your own words.)
I’m no expert on depression, so I’m not sure how to answer that. Depression is a very serious, urgent condition that needs proper attention. Unhappiness – I think more of the grousing, whining, complaining, curmudgeonly mode that a lot of us fall into at times, without being depressed.

A lot of graduating seniors usually end up with a diploma and a possible job after graduating. However, some students lose focus on what they want to do as a profession that will make them happy at the same time. You say in your book, "Of course, happiness also matters to work simply because work occupies so much of our time." What advice would you give students in college and recent graduates?
First, don’t go to law school unless you are REALLY sure about it! Don’t go because you can’t think of anything better to do! Second, ask yourself, “What do I do with my free time?” That’s an important clue. Do you read, write, play video games, watch sports, watch movies, study Latin, go to museums, look at bugs in the dirt, writing parodies with your friends? Think about what that tells you about yourself.