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Everyone wants to be at their swimsuit pinnacle this spring break, but sacrificing dignity and self respect probably isn’t the best way to go. So, while these gadgets may help you reach your fitness goals, your best bet may be cutting the calories, hitting the gym, and breaking a sweat the old fashioned way.
By Jennette Holzworth

Treadmill Bike If you’ve ever wanted to run outdoors, but never considered using your own two feet, a solid purchase is the Treadmill Bike, a scooter-inspired bike you must run on to operate. In addition to a great workout, the treadmill bike promises to “protect your feet from dirt and other contaminants.” Apparently, the designers drastically underestimated the value of any solid tennis shoe. $2,383

Shake Weight Building muscle with “slow, boring” dumbbells is so last training season now that the Shake Weight is on the market. Dumbbells jiggle back and forth to build muscle using Dynamic Inertia, a scientific technology so innovative you won’t even find it defined on Wikipedia. The best weight loss will probably come from the liquid diet you’ll be on when one of these weights shakes out of control. $30

Jump Snap Jumping rope is recognized as an excellent cardiovascular workout, but the rope poses space and skill obstacles. Jump Snap creators took the rope out of the equation, allowing users to jump rope in small spaces without actually having to jump over a rope. A computer even simulates the rope sound so participants can pretend they didn’t pay money just to jump up and down. $50

uGallop The rigorous physical workout known as horseback riding is now available in a family friendly living room size. The OSIM uGallop Complete Core Exerciser promises to tone the core muscles and improve posture without the smell or clean-up of the real thing. Of course, the same workout is available for a quarter in The Oak’s Mall kiddie ride section. $350

Hawaii Chair If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking the Tilt-O-Whirl is where your productivity spikes, then this fitness chair was built for you. The Hawaii Chair promises to tone your core muscles at the office while violently twisting your torso in 360 degree motions. Be sure to keep a barf bag nearby to catch the pounds this chair will undoubtedly spit up. $300

FitFlop For those who have dreamed of working out their leg muscles while walking, clearly an anatomical anomaly, the creators of FitFlops have discovered a way to extend the amount of time leg muscles are engaged while performing the most basic exercise known to man. Using Microwobbleboard™ technology, FitFlops apparently have what no other shoe (or bare foot) can offer: the ability to alter the spacetime continuum so each step can be executed in a slow-motion, muscle-ripping movement. $60
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