True Story: I Rushed 3 Times

Tuesday, 17 August 2010 16:03

I rushed three times. You would assume I would have given up. But to go back for a third time, I clearly must be a glutton for punishment—at least that’s what everyone told me. My girlfriend, a Florida State Kappa Alpha Theta alum, said, “Do you really want to go through this a third time? Aren’t you tired of rushing?”

By Lauren

Joining a sorority was something I had always wanted to do. It was just a part of the perfect college experience. My grandmother, an FSU Greek alum, helped to start a chapter of her sorority here at the University of Florida. Both of my aunts were on the executive boards for their sororities. Even my hippie, free-spirited mother joined a sorority. Naturally, I wanted to follow in their footsteps.

 

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Faces in the Crowd: Did You Rush?

Sorority women seem to have it all: sisterhood, socials, football games, Homecoming, bigs, littles, fraternity men; the list goes on. Sorority women are involved in everything on campus, like Student Government, Cicerones, Blue Key, Gator Growl and Dance Marathon. As an incoming freshman, I couldn’t see a downside. So I rushed with high hopes that I, too, would soon “have it all.”

I quickly realized it was one of the most difficult things I have done—save for a bikini wax. Picture this: You’re walking in and out of houses for an entire week in the Florida summer with only furious fanning with the “Key to the Greeks” to keep you cool, all while trying to “be yourself” and praying you don’t trip or say the wrong thing. You’re trying to prevent your hair from frizzing and your makeup from running in the inevitable rain. And it will rain. As one male friend once told the media, “This is what drives sorority girls to drink!” Tears are not only understandable, but expected.

As you know already, that first time didn’t work out.

I was disheartened, to say the least. I couldn't understand what my problem was. I would hit it off with a sister and then be dropped the next round like a bad habit. Why was I not getting bids from the houses I wanted? I never had problems talking to strangers. In the words of Elle Woods, “Why wouldn’t they like me? Everybody likes me.”

I assumed my appearance was to blame. After all, some houses resemble the backstage of the Miss America Pageant. Maybe if I lost some weight or tamed my corkscrew curls, then I would get the right bids. So my sophomore year, armed with pearls, a Longchamp bag and a somewhat optimistic attitude, I headed back to fall Rush.

Like the previous fall, I still didn’t get bids from the houses I wanted. I resigned myself to the fact that I clearly wasn’t cut out for sorority life. But at the start of the spring semester, a close girlfriend decided to rush for her second time. I figured as a “professional,” I could give her advice and the much-needed moral support. Who knows? Maybe I would get lucky. After all, third time’s a charm. So for the third time, I headed off to Rush.

Already I felt more at ease. Rather than requiring us to combat the elements, spring Rush is inside the Reitz Union. Only a fraction of the houses participate, so the whole first round lasts about two hours, instead of two days.

Rather than terror, I felt something I had never felt during Rush. It wasn’t about my weight or my hair; I needed confidence. It’s what I had been missing all along. It was so simple yet so difficult at the same time. I had let myself become intimidated. I frightened my outgoing personality into hiding. With this knowledge, I marched into the first house a new woman. Out of five houses, I got phone calls from three—a huge leap from the two previous recruitments. I was ecstatic. With my new attitude in tow, I went to an evening event at one of the three callback houses.

I figured this was finally it. All of the tears and previous rushes were worth it. Now that I had confidence, there was nothing stopping me. Maybe in a week I would be calling these girls my sisters. In typical Rush fashion, I was escorted off to look at decorated poster boards and paddles. While soaking it all in, my rusher said something that struck me: “I found my bridesmaids here.”

I realized I had my bridesmaids. My girlfriends had been there for me through everything, including all three rushes. I tried to keep listening, but I started zoning out. I realized I already “had it all.” I had sisterhood. I went to my fair share of socials and football games, including Homecoming. And as for fraternity men, I had my fair share of them too.

I had been too caught up in not having Greek letters that I was completely blind to what I did have. I had thought being in a sorority was the only way to have the full college experience. But even though going Greek is a great way, it’s not the only way. Looking back, I’m glad I went through it. Without rushing, I never would have gained the self-confidence I have now, and I definitely would not have realized how great my college experience has been. Although joining a sorority wasn’t for me, I guess Rush was.

"Lauren" (not her real name) requested to remain anonymous because she wants women to identify with the story without any influence. She is a current University of Florida student with friends both in and out of Greek life. She hopes someone finds relief in her story.