Our Drink with Ron Jeremy

Friday, 14 October 2011 15:20

Ron Jeremy—legendary adult film star; icon of ’80s excess; spokesperson for penis pills, rolling papers and now a namesake rum—needs no formal introduction.

His image is so iconic that those who aren’t familiar with his “body of work” certainly recognize him from iconic pop culture appearances (Boondock Saints, The Surreal Life) and imitations. We recently sat down with Ron for lunch at Amelia’s while he was in town promoting his rum, Ron de Jeremy.

While we compared sips of the aged version to the spiced one (“ron” is rum in Spanish), Ron entertained us with thoughts on everything from attracting a woman to how working in adult films compares to his formative years as a special education teacher and staying relevant well past your 50s. He even serenaded us on his harmonica and the restaurant piano. (You just had to be there.)

By Maghan McDowell; Photos by Sean Kelly

Hi Ron! Tell us about Ron de Jeremy. How do you like to drink it? I’ll be honest with you. I’m not a big drinker or anything—I stopped smoking pot in high school—but when I do drink, I like a rum and Coke. It’s actually quite good rum.

So how should a man approach a woman? Most places, you don’t have the right to break the ice. There is only one place where a man can approach a woman and get away with it. If you walk up to a woman while she’s doing her laundry, she’ll say, “Oh hi yeah, nice to meet you—now go f*** yourself!”
But this is what you do: You go up to a girl in the discotheque—or night club it’s called now—you go up to her in the disco and you ask her to dance. It’s easy. Out of 20 women you ask, eventually someone will say yes. That’s what discos are for.
Then you dance—it’s easy these days—and have a nice little chat. Then if you’re really good, you tip the DJ to play a slow song.
The worst she can say is “no.”

Do you have a girlfriend? Well, I have a best friend. Someone who I would want to have a child with. I don’t think people are meant to be physically monogamous. I’ve said that penis pills are the best gift to monogamy because you have no problem with the blonde girl down the street, but after you’ve been with someone for years, you almost have to lie to make her feel good. But if she’s smart, she knows it.

So let’s say you have a daughter. When would you tell her it was okay to go all the way with her boyfriend? Well, there are three things. First, do you like them? Then, does he like you? And then, does he turn you on?  Are you doing it because you feel you owe it to him because he bought you dinner, or because you want to? The rest, go ask your mother.

You used to be a special-ed teacher. Any similarities between that and your current profession? Well, I did my thesis on psychodrama—which is like role-playing to discipline the kids.

Any celebrity crushes? Well you know, Pam Anderson, I’ve worked with her a bit but not extensively. Britney Spears.

You’re at a point where you don’t have to act in adult films anymore, yet you still do occasionally. How do you pick what you do? If she’s cute [laughs]. I maybe do a couple scenes a month. I don’t ever want to be a “has been.”

Your appearance in the LMFAO video for “Sexy and I Know It” has gotten more than 9 million hits. What was that like? Well, I’ve done more than 30 music videos. For that, they bought Venice Beach for the day. I couldn’t believe it.

What is your favorite music? Other than LMFAO? I like the classics, like James Taylor, Jethro Tell and I really love Celtic music, Irish music. Here, I can play some on the harmonica…

Editor’s note: As a crowd of late-afternoon waitstaff gathered, Ron, the consummate performer, transitioned from a handful of harmonica hits to jamming classical tunes on the piano, before sharing some cheesecake and a cappuccino. While we enjoyed the rest of our spiced rum and coke, we asked:

So is playing the piano the ultimate way to get a date with someone out of your league? Yeah, that might work. “Want to go to dinner?” “Oh no I think I have plans.” “Well how about I play the piano for you?” “Oh you can do that?!”…That or, “Hey, I have these great tickets to a rock concert—and I’ll take you backstage.”

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