The Laboratory, a Café of Science!, tucked between Taco Bell and Bodytech at 818 West University Ave., is anything but your ordinary café.

We were encouraged to don lab coats as we entered, the walls were hung with local art and assorted Halloween decorations, and the bathroom was hidden behind a door marked “Internal Organ Fluid Evacuation Portal.”

The polished aluminum chairs and tables were well-suited to the theme and somewhat off-center; the same could be said of much of the clientele. We caught sight of five goths, several self-proclaimed vampires, a small group of young professionals and a gentleman playing the ukulele.
Owner Larry Bruce welcomed us with a hearty “Mwahahahaha!” Dressed in a lab coat and a T-shirt too racy to describe here, Larry was single-handedly manning both the kitchen and the bar. By Carolyne Salt photo: Sequoia Santangelo

Is There a Doctor in the House?!
The unique menu offers sandwiches, nachos, bagels and tortilla dishes, all named after scientists, and most in the $7 range (including tax). The Dr. Reubenstein is “similar to a Reuben, similar to a Monster” and Dr. Pavlov’s Nachos are “good enough to make you drool.” We were surprised to see that the curry sauce on our Dr. Curie Curry Pork Sandwich really did glow under the black lights, just as the menu promised.
In addition to the Dr. Curie, we ordered a Dr. Hawking (“A Unified Field of Delicious Taste”) and the not-on-the-menu-but-always-available vegetarian tempeh nachos. Food experimentation is encouraged.

Experiments … in Taste
The Dr. Curie was impressive: a hearty serving of pulled pork paired with Swiss cheese, wasabi slaw, pickle and curry yogurt sauce on pressed French bread. It was accompanied by tortilla chips covered in the same magical glowing curry sauce. The Dr. Hawking was also delicious, combining herb chicken, cheddar cheese, sun-dried tomato and Spanish slaw with sundried tomato pesto sauce on pressed white bread.
The real star of the night, however, was the nachos. It took three of us to attack and defeat this monster of a dish, which consisted of layers of tortilla chips covered in cheese, curry sauce, vegetables and tempeh. The tempeh is from a local supplier, and like all of the meats served at the Lab, is seasoned with its own unique marinade devised by head chef and fellow mad scientist Gary Hacker.
For dessert, we shared a serving of Tesla’s Testes (no, really, that’s what they’re called), a delicious chocolate-covered two-bite serving of red velvet cake.

Science is a Thirsty Business

The Laboratory is as much a bar as it is a restaurant, with bottled beers running a flat $4 (again, including tax). Most of the people there were out for a night of drinking, but those who were eating seemed particularly satisfied.
The soda case contained IBC root beer—coveted by any aficionado. The beer selection was much more impressive; we counted more than 33 different bottled beers. We sampled a bottle of Z smoked porter and Billy’s Chilies, which had a nice bite that went with the nachos very well. Draught selections included PBR (a customer favorite), Woodchuck cider and Swamphead’s Big Nose.
The food at the Laboratory is tasty, but it’s the Lab’s events and its odd clientele of geeks, goths and artists that make this wonderfully strange Gainesville nugget well worth the visit.

Fast Facts

Phone: 352-505-5337

Address: 818 West University Ave.

Parking: Plenty; 32 off-street spots.

Hours: Mon-Sat 3pm-2am, closed Sunday.

Signature dish: Nachos ($7)

Price range: $$ (out of $$$$)

Attire: Casual bordering on strange—lab coats available at the door.

Take-out: Yes
Monthly food/drink specials: $5 pitchers of PBR every day.

Special events: Mon: Tom Miller’s Winter Unspectacular; Tues: Trivia; Wed: Mad Science Karaoke; Thurs-Sat: live shows.

Outdoor seating: Available.