Gotta Try It: Driver’s Ed For Love

Wednesday, 29 August 2012 13:25

Have you ever felt yourself skidding out of the love lane? Running into obstacles that you can't get around or feeling like your wheels just continue to slip?

—Rachel Sale

Keep your hands on the steering wheel, breathe deeply, realize you're not alone and help is on the way! Driver's Ed For Love (DEFL) is a seminar devoted to people who want to learn to have more successful experiences in their love relationships. Teens, young adults and adults each have a class devoted to their respective age groups that deals with experiences most seen in those times of life.

The DEFL team let INsite sit in on an adult session. In four hours, the leaders taught the class how to better understand themselves, ask questions to better understand others, and better equipped them to make wise choices in their love relationships.

"I feel like my relationships are strong, open, supportive, nonjudgmental and overall, positive and healthy," says Jorelle Laakso, an instructor and prior attendee of DEFL. "Having a breakdown from time to time is normal but now I feel like I have solid skills and a great mindset to handle pretty much any challenge I might face in a relationship. I am now very skilled at choosing wisely when it comes to investing in people and offering them my heart and my time."

Jorelle attended the first DEFL in 2008 and knew she wanted to be a part of the organization. "I know that relationship education is linked to just about every social variable that is of concern in our society and this is my way of contributing to the community," she says.

The creators of DEFL hope to enrich people's love relationships and hope that attendees become more prosperous in them, but Jorelle feels that every important relationship can benefit from the program.

"For example, after working with clients at a substance abuse facility, one counselor reported that a particular client chose to leave a destructive relationship," says Jorelle. "The client reported that she made this choice after participating in our workshop. Even if we don't see immediate benefits with all of our attendees, we hope that we've at least 'planted the seed' that will continue to influence people to make good choices for healthier relationships and grow emotionally."

Discussions included infatuation vs. love, the uses of sex in a relationship, how to address and conquer previous disappointments in past relationships, and evaluations for a partner's emotional maturity. These questions also prompted introspection, which opened the door for personal growth, one of the foundations of the program.

Another benefit of the program is that the leaders never shut the door of communication on attendees. All are encouraged to provide feedback about the program, let the leaders know how things are going and get any more questions answered.

Jorelle says that not many people take advantage of this, but DEFL isn't a one-time fix-all. "We also have had past attendees come back to experience the workshop again," says Jorelle. "Occasionally, we receive emails or calls from attendees who need extra assistance. They may not be taking advantage of this offer yet, but we want them to know the invitation is there."

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